My Over Ten Years Greatest Fear

I visited Edmund's blog today. It's also my first time visited his blog after a year. As I was reading his blog I noticed a post posted on February 14th. I cried because it reminded me a similar case that happened to my youngest sister over 10 years ago. If I'm not mistaken it was also a dinner during CNY when I was still in primary school. It was a dinner in a restaurant in Klang. I still remember that time my family asked me to bring my sister to the washroom. My sister was walking ahead of me and I tried my best to reach her. When we're about to reach the washroom, we past by a counter nearby the kitchen of that restaurant where they delivered the food. There was a waitress holding a big bowl of "Loh Mee" just freshly cooked and brought out from the kitchen. My sister was shocked as the waitress turned around. The "Loh Mee" paste poured on my sister's clothes. I stood there and couldn't think of anything. My sister screamed and cried like never before. Now when I recalled that, I wonder why all the adults around me were so stupid to see the two little girls standing there - one was shocked to see the incident and the other was holding herself so tightly on her body and screaming until my parents came to us but it's all too late to blame anyone. My dad was so angry with them but could do nothing. Thank God there's a clinic just right beside the restaurant and she went there for first aid. I was so sad to see this little girl crying so hard. After the first aid they doctor told us that all the six layers of her skin was burnt and it will take along time to recover. The wound was as big as a roti planta. It was all burnt and could see the watery flesh on the wound. For almost a year my sister couldn't wear any shirts because it's so painful. For almost a year my dad, myself and the other sister brought her to the clinic everyday to get treatment. Such a pitiful incident happened to my youngest sister that I wouldn't forget. It's such a nightmare to me as if it's happened yesterday. My eyes full with tears because it's so scary and it makes my hands shivering while typing this. But thank God she's now fully recovered with no scars on her body. Thank God for what He's done to this little girl when she was sufferring with the pain.

Deadly-live

Typed-deleted. Typed-deleted. Typed and deleted. Why is it so hard for me to write these days? Is it because I have nothing to write or there is something that I don't want let other people know? Why when I'm happy I won't think about what I've done and wrire them down but when I'm lost I will slowly pick up my pen and start to write. I noticed that the last time I wrote in my diary was in June 2006. The other thing I noticed was, all I wrote about were my disappointments and sadness. When I feel like dropping a few words to record some of my happiness I couldn't think of anything. My management is so terrible. Where did I keep my happiness?? There are many things just can't get my attentions and even if they did, I condemned. Suddenly I feel that my life is ......!!! What on earth am I doing? I'm clearly know that I'm not here to condemned or to judge. I'm clearly know what I won't be right all the times but I just want to fight for myself and don't want to humble myself and admit that I was wrong. Duhhh!! I feel so guilty when there were so many people get hurt when I behaved like that. I'm so sorry about that. Truly sorry... :(

Mom Song

*Speechless*

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Yamaha, Suzuki, Honda.... Harley

I don't know how many of you seen this before. But it's funny when my friend showed this to me.

Enjoy!!!

Gambling is disaster, is hurting...

When we reached this house, everyone was there chit-chatting, gambling and enjoying themselves. Nothing was bothering me in this house but I just don't feel good. Just as I reached this house, I felt uneasy. Why must everyone gamble during CNY? An hour later was the most important moment for the hokkien - bai tian gong. This is not something new to me because my family used to do that before my grandma's pass away. But of course I don't feel comfortable at that moment so I sat in the living and watched tv. After all the ceremony there was this uncle (the banker) called for gambling. Uncle was happy with it because it's "one year once". So everybody joined. An hour later, there was an incident happened. I'm not sure how it started it started. But what I heard was the banker loses 5-6 times double-pay to one of the player. It's RM20 = RM40 each time (double-pay). Then when the player loses RM10 to the banker suddenly got so angry saying he played foul and wanted to beat him up. What the! How can this be? It was so near to my friends and myself. What if one of us got whacked by him? I got so angry but pretended like normal in front of them. Yes, he was drunk and loses more than RM 1k to everybody and so what? He was the one who started it and they can play how much they want to. I really wonder what's in their minds. Shouldn't worshipping make them feel peace? Who and what are they praying to? Shouldn't they think before they start playing and fighting? I really don't feel a bit pitiful to that uncle at all...

Thank God for saving my life

First of all I would like to thank God for saving my life today. I was still so sleepy even though I had 8 hours sleeping time. Without thinking much I woke up as usual as the alarm rang and prepared to work. It’s not something new or strange that I don’t feel like going to work every morning because I need more sleep! When I went down to get my car, it’s raining! My feeling was terrible. Sigh… I still had to drive 30 over km to the office. When it was about 5km before I reached the office, the cute little kancil in front of me stepped so hard on the brake and I followed. When my foot was still on the brake I heard something and I was trying to find out what was it suddenly there was something came from my mind told me to release the brake then only I realised the sound came from my tyre. The road was so slippery and my steering nearly lost control. Thank God that I released the brake immediately. Then I noticed another scarier thing. I was holding my steering with my right hand alone and it wasn’t held properly. Thank God again for that. I wasn’t driving fast ar… It’s just a normal speed less than 70km/h in first lane. Cars were chasing behind and I was still taking my own sweet time to drive slowly and safely.

Lastly, I think I need to change the tyres already. Hehe...

a big thank you!!

I wonder why you want to force me to make this kind of decision. I've given you more than a month to think and choose what you want to be and where you want to go. I really didn't know this would be my last decision. Please don't blame me for treating you this way. I have no more patience for you. I've given you options but still this is what you've chosen. Losing you isn't something I'm worried about anymore. You know what is wrong and what is right. I've taught I could and I think I'm too young to teach that's why you've never listened! You're the one who chose and made what's happened today. It's been so many year I've cried for you. I can swear now not anymore. Didn't know that I'm smiling while typing this. Have I gone crazy? I guess not. I'm sure I'm not. I'm not angry anymore. I do worry but not you anymore. What I care isn't you anymore. When I cry wouldn't be for you anymore. I even found this is so challenging. I have not much to say but...

A BIG THANK YOU!!

That's all for you and I...